insensitivity, violence, lies, disagreements ... love even has to withstand the test of time. i've heard stories of friends' or friends of friends who broke up, patched up, still in the midst of negotiating time-out sessions, why is it that some people could bear with their partners' misgivings while onlookers gloatingly place their bets over dinner talks?

equally disturbed by my own nightmares last night of my beloved walking out on me when everyone else was against me, and on a separate occasion, exploring "friendship" with my girl friend. i could remember the anger which quickly turned to the oh so familiar sinking in your stomach that even after perhaps 8 hours later, i'm still feeling it. goodness, it;s just a dream. precisely unsettling because i caused our day to end on a bad note before i slept. call it fear or enlightenment, i know i need to show more appreciation to a man whom would never do my nightmare on me.

but back to the many stories, i cant help but to ask 'whats the last straw for these girls?'. i hope i never have to find out what is mine.

like a coin, there's always two sides to an argument. im unsure if it's a gift of blessing to have the ability to see the two sides. instanteously. it's an internal turmoil.
is understanding the other point of view, and ultimately giving in knowing that you are half at fault, necessarily mean that you give up fighting for what you believed in? or is there a meet-me-at-some-point just like everything else in this world?

so where is that. go figure.

An hour later after leaving a few packs of nibbles i brought back from my travel on my colleagues' table, she came to me and asked, 'what are these?'

'tofu. tao gua.'

'i don't eat these. the smell of it gives me headache', and she shoved them back to me.




'the toilets there are so smelly and dark. you know made of stones, no doors ..' and she went on describing with a face of digust

'is it? now they have made-shift toilets which are quite clear. when was the last time you been there?', i asked

'2 years ago'

talking about change..



'so how much was your trip there?'

'we spent about 900.'

'thats very expensive!'

'yup because we stayed at *** *** **** **** which cost us $400++ per night. if not it wouldnt have cost us so much'

'oh. i think i also stayed there the other time'

'really? the one with glass ceilings and walls right?

'.............'

if i didnt, i wouldnt say i did.



does it matter if you are or not more superior than anyone else/can or cannot match up to someone else? at the end of it, who cares...there's always someone else who flies a private jet when you go on first class and stays in president suite of the hotel you pinched pennies for.


Weight Loss Program Day 5
this has to be started because i've gained 7kg over the course of one year where i persistently ignored the fact that i'm having problems buckering my pants, buying bigger size shirts and still ingest more and more sugar.

so for the sake of looking and feeling better, i've decided to pen this down so i can keep track of my own performance.

i'm now on my 5th day. feeling better about myself but am not encouraged by the numbers the weighing machine decided to scare me - good grief, im still 59kg. (the heaviest i've ever been) i'm probably 120-130% for my height.

my bf is giving me kind encouragement for what i've been trying out so far..so as long as i continue this way, it's only a matter of time i hit a healthy 48.

breakfast i had a cup of replacement meal + a piece of luncheon meat
lunch, a filling salad
havent snack since then, no sugared drinks just plain water.
i'll update on dinner later.

i only managed one round my neighbourhood + 3 rounds interval training + some arm lifts the other day. today, I will try for 2 rounds...