okay i think i really like his music and voice. just don't look at his face..it's really good stuff

i've been thinking... if these 2 plus years had been so difficult, what makes me think that things would change say if i got what i think i want. the fact is there, come on just accept it. stop looking for excuses. stop all these nonsense. just leave it alone for awhile. 

there wouldn't be regret on my part. 

when i was much younger and cuter, i had a lot of individuals who wanted to be my friends. they'd buy me those erasers, stickers, those mechanic pencils with something dangling on top (those were the so-called in things; and i always get into trouble with my stepdad because i always have so much of those in my bag everyday. he was angry cos he couldn't figure out how i got so much money to buy those things. the fact is that i don't, and he just wouldn't believe that those were all given to me.), wait for me at areas where i'd appear. some were more daring and straight forward. my jealous friends pushed these "pursuers" away and kept me away from their vicinity. but they try even harder.

it was cute. when we were kids, rejection seemed less of a scary thing.. all we want is to like a person, show them, tell them, spend time with them, and hope that they like you back. we were so much braver, so much better at showing love. where are we now?

or did we become less attractive.

i missed 21 years of 28 nov, and never going to have the chance ever again.. im soo sorry..

as you live through life, you take on more roles (be thankful). some bestowed, some fought for, some unexpected, others unknown. how many roles do you play? am one of those with the least number of roles. i wouldn't say thats lucky. it just reflects your life experiences and the stage you are at. isn't life just about that? i'm not going into how much control we have over the timing of acquiring those roles. it's too controversial. but one thing that won't do you bad is preparing yourself, so when the time comes, you're ready to take on the challenge and play those roles well.

and this is nothing more than a reminder to myself.

everything's a bit too surreal that i keep forgetting my place

yea. whatever. define good things.

perceptions.

tomorrow, i will wake up fresh again. grab the opportunity, and work through it. fame is always very tempting. yes of course very tempting, and makes it hard for one to stay focus on the original intentions.. but lets go back to basics. i'll probably enjoy the process more.

i actually like the stage. how could i not.

the last time i had a prolonged period of dreams about teeth dropping, my dad's health was unknowingly deteriorating on another side of the world and strangely, i never had dreams about it again since the day he past away. i don't believe in all these but don't you find it weird how it just fit in so coincidentally.

i have started having these dreams again. am scared.

it feels good to lay in bed and not do anything, occasionally.

counting down! 1 month and i'll go party too!

the luckiest thing about being part of my family is that, nobody is going to question you for wanting to learn. they encourage it and they support it. i was just commenting on the media school that was advertised on the tele, and mom actually encouraged me to sign up. she prolly won't take it too hard too if one day i tell her i want to do architecture. i'm so lucky.