i need a really good massage.

while waiting for my soup to double boil,
very randomly,
girls should all go and learn to read maps, change your tires, fix your computers, tell apart screws and hammers. goodness gracious. what kind of era is this already. how can you not know simple html, resize your photos, do simple programming just so your life will be easier if you'd know how to handle things yourself than having to ask for help all the time. and i should stop acting dumb, and learn how to sew my buttons on properly. i wonder if one day your parents disappear out of a sudden, just how many of you could go on with cooking, washing, ironing, and taking care of all those little details in life that you have always taken for granted. some people dont even know where their passport is, oh my god.

i think my soup is done. ok, i go drink soup.

You Would Be a Pet Bird

You're intelligent and witty, yet surprisingly low maintenance. You charm people easily, and they usually love you a lot more than you love them. You resent anyone who tries to own or control you. You refuse to be fenced in. Why you would make a great pet: You're very smart and entertaining Why you would make a bad pet: You're not interested in being anyone's pet! What you would love about being a bird: Flying, obviously What you would hate about being a bird: Being caged

What Kind of Pet Would You Be?

yea, why the hell am i a bird. i thought i might be a fish. i dont mind being a bird so long im not a pet bird. this reminds me of the classic line from 27 dresses, 'my idea of a pet is a stone.'. thats so funny.

imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, jughead said. i hope you know who he is because i grew up with that gang of characters. anyway, sometimes i'm not sure if am overly cynical or critical but i find those bush-league showcases very laughable. i ought to change.

was very happy that i saw yuk, van and maria in school today. was very happy that i got to spend a little bit of time with them. was very happy to listen to them complain about school. was very happy to have dinner together. was very happy to go home together.



看公主小妹第二集时，我哭到不行。她说爷爷只不过是个和她有血源关系的陌生人罢了。我能体会她的感受。但因为又觉得她的爷爷很可怜所以我好难过哦。好难过！='(

if words/actions/presents dont come from the bottom of the heart, then dont say/do/give them.

since i'm turning 21 soon, i've spent some time, given some thought and have finally came up with this list to make your life easier.

1) a new case for my violin
rectangular one with good padding and fabric inside. preferably gold. brown on the outside.
you probably cant picture it since you dont play any fiddle yourself.
you can forget about item number 1.
2) a bow
my bow is balding and turning yellow.
what is a bow? even if you do know what it is, you probably dont know how to pick a good one. neither do i.
3) a wallet
im extremely fussy 'bout the leather and the pockets and zips. that explains why i havent found anything to replace my rotting one.
i advise you not to take the risk of getting something i dont like. dont torture me! i have to stick with it for years.
so please just void item 3.
4) a DSLR
need i say more?
ANY will do. even second hand third hand forth hand.
but nobody throws thousands around like that.
since you arent a rich man's daughter/son, please just move on to item 5.
5) a Ricoh GR Digital II
this costs a thousand odd as well.
now you get the drift.



the bottomline is, just DONT BOTHER.

i managed to find one of my exam pieces. this version is shorter.
and i think i sound better!

hurray this will be a fantastic semester. i dropped my fifth module and my appeal for another wasnt successful, so i only have 4 to juggle. that still equate whomping workload and unfriendly course mates. i pity myself for doing a second major under the most retarded and inhumane faculty. at this rate, i will never know when i would be able to graduate. i dont enjoy toying around with uncertainty when it comes to big things. it gets on my nerves. my anxiety peaks every 2 hours (special thanks to violin) so i have to stroke and tame myself very often. looks like i will have to go for more yoga. my anxiety is peaking again at the very mention of it. a tiny voice tells me it doesnt matter as long as i keep up with my practise everyday. but it is painful not to know when your exam is. it's okay to be anxious isnt it? this is worse than academic exams. am sure i will feel much better once the date and the time has been scheduled. POSITIVITY.

i dreamt of you thrice in a week. twice you were just a msn window and third time your face was distorted and limbs were broken.

if somebody buys me batteries, i might bring my camera out more. i dont even have money for batteries. anyway, thanks dawn for the photo.

see below for 2 years ago.









HAHA
i can probably earn more money by black-mailing people.

one word: high-strung

there are too many projects, reaction papers and presentations i really want to sit back and cry. maybe some time this week my mentality will change.

let's just say sbs underestimated the number of people turning up for the evening lectures on the first day of school. waiting time is horrid. am exhausted but thank god, at least i learned russel's paradox.

i simply love that expression.

today marks my first ride in jian guang's car. we laughed at chengyang's childhood-recollection-of-shit-in-his-pants and my-pee-in-my-skirts-ones. i love how they crack me up. some things dont change: chengyang's yellow shirts, karliang's attempts at putting down pursuit of happyness, raymond being santa, felicia's spicy chicken without peas and nelson as spastic as ever, jian guang and jiayinn stuck together.

and i found someone who finds cow and chicken funny too! that person's my love.

you said you would, so i waited. but you didnt.

silveredric is in his 90s. old and senile and ill-tempered. he's grunting the entire evening because i wouldnt let him retire. i thought that if one human year is equivalent to nine dog years, by the same logic, one human year should be thirty years for a gadget. poor silveredric. he is my laptop and he has served me well.

am half way through deathly hallows I finally laid my hands on but i got bored of running my hands in between the purely fictional contents. it's apparent that she’s started to lose steam somewhere in time after the goblet, where things became slightly repetitive. some could possibly sense the scramble, yet sometimes aversion, to end the series. And this is the book that she could string her loose and flickering inspirations together to make her idea look, hopefully, complete and well intended. The whole potter phenomenon is a big deal to handle.
Contrastingly, a brilliant silent thinker is almost unheard of.

My fellows have raised their bids to thousand five. That is more than double of what I could offer. They should go and eat worms, seriously.



I fancy a late night spin and a small snack and a sip of wine under the stars and doing nothing more than gazing into my love’s eyes and letting the wind plant kisses on my lips and caress my hair.

this is still one of my favorites. i still feel the coolness in the wind, smell the autumnlike air and hear the roar of my escaped soul every single time i look at it. even to date.

it's okay to cry, isnt it? it's human nature. but crying over the same thing again and again, is stupid.
i had a good dream last night.

no, it's not plates and the crumbling crisps, nor is this all about food. i have my reasons why it has to be one plate and not many plates so dont anyhow anyhow. some people really anyhow anyhow.

but most importantly,
i dont understand why even though i make sure i get enough rest and eat properly, i still look like a problematic drug addict or a threatened puffer fish. very off-color, dim-witted and the worst is this pair of tiny, foggy button eyes. {o_o}

photo credits to eugene.

reached my door at 2 in the morning and couldnt find my keys. too many dramas these months..keys keys keys. feel bad about waking my mom up but i cant sleep on the steps can i.

before the keys, we were prawning.

prawn fishing at a different farm with a different bunch of people at a different time of the day is different prawn-affair altogether. this group of people is definitely barbaric and easily entertained. they are not at all qualmish about unhooking the poor prawns or sticking sticks right through the suffocating things. the boys made one or two foamed and broke almost all them pincers; some of the heads almost came off. my dear florence even stabbed one struggling prawn with absolute violence. yeaaa they are afterall just you know seafood.

whats more exciting to me was eugene's frantic chase for his last bus and train. alex was speeding on the highways and eugene was eventually saved after several disappointments, and was left to rock home alone with a bus captain who opened and closed the doors at every stop even though there was nobody. the rest of us happily had supper, where we too were "harassed" by an indian mate who was either high on drugs or drunk.






the logic is, if i keep them to myself, nobody will know.

i dont agree with it 100% but that power of motivation is definitely worth a 100%. when someone tells you hey you can be in control of your life, and you'll definitely feel good about it as though hope is written all over. same goes to religion (am keeping my silence on that). it's a good thing to feel in control, thats the best an average man can do.

am more interested in the secret of the secret. and the religion of religions. but yea, motivation is good. i love motivations.

and orange seeds. hee hee.

one of my modules has prerequisite readings so i went down all the way to clementi to get the book but the blardie shop closed at 6. in the end no book and i got myself half drunk.



Ricoh GR Digital II is a gem. but i've no money for these upper middle class women cameras. better luck next time.

laid back yet sexy. that takes a lot of attitude.

anybody want to go shopping?

they are a really adorable pair. we are all grown up now.

i was going through old pictures and saw lots of happy pictures of myself and i thought, no way i'm going to carry on caging myself like this. i had cried for nights and that should be enough.

to darwin or the olympics.

maybe i wont see you anymore

days ago i spent eight fifty on a piece of rubber to mute my violin. they call that a violin mute. eight fifty for a piece of rubber. glad that you didnt see anticipation flushed off my face when i was presented with a fine piece of rubber. i was expecting something more brilliant you see. but it's indeed a fine piece of rubber. i can play day and night and midnight now. it's embarrassing to admit that my playing sound better muted.
to mute, it only meant bringing the volumn down by 60%, and the screechings from lousy technical control is also significantly reduced.

my voice might soon vanish from the lack of use. i cant even be bothered to complain. surprisingly my awful voice has been good enough for most of my sight singing classes. but my croaking finds it difficult to differentiate a flat from a natural or a natural from a sharp. it's impossible to sing notes a semi-tone apart without the help of the piano, seriously. WHY the hell must you know how to sing, i still dont get it.


since i've no habit of making resolutions, i will not make this year an exception. they're better kept secret, and so are feelings.